In-person gatherings are finally happening again! Have your social skills gotten a little rusty? Maybe your interview skills could use a boost. Or, maybe you are a bit of an introvert, and your idea of a conversation is asking the other person questions, so they do all the talking. Don’t make other people do all the heavy lifting in a conversation. Instead, contribute by having relevant and interesting things to say by creating a Conversation Résumé!
Patrick King, a social interaction specialist and author of Better Small Talk shared the following tips with me on creating your Conversation Résumé (used with permission):
“A Conversation Résumé is no different from a résumé you would use for a job interview—but with a very different purpose in mind here. Know your personal talking points, rehearse them, and be ready to unleash them whenever necessary. However, just like in a job interview, having this résumé allows you to present the version of yourself that you most want others to see.
“It may seem inconsequential to have such thoughts prepared, but imagine how excruciating the silence is in a job interview when you have to scramble, think of an answer on the fly, and respond while knowing your words are generic or useless. If someone asks you what your biggest flaw is, you won’t have to grasp for straws, and instead can begin expounding on why the fact that you are too dedicated and work too hard can be a flaw.
“It’s the difference between having a good answer or story when someone asks, “What did you do last weekend?” versus simply saying, “Oh, not too much. Some TV. What about you?” And how few of us can answer the following without stuttering and stalling: “So what’s your story?” The conversation résumé allows you to remind yourself that you’re not such a boring person after all, and that people should have reason to be interested in you and what you have to say.
“Developing and constantly updating your conversation résumé can save you from awkward silences and make it nearly effortless to connect with others. It may feel difficult to come up with right now, but imagine how much easier it will be without the stress of someone staring at you, waiting for your reply. It’s this process of mental agony that will translate to real conversational success.
“What you come up with on your résumé won’t always make it into everyday conversation, but the more you have it on your brain, the more it will be apparent to others, and the more captivating you will become. A great side effect is that if you know you are ready and prepped ahead of time, you can relax a little more, and this will only help you appear (and feel!) more confident in the moment.
Daily life:
- What did you do over the weekend? Anything notable?
- How is your week/day going? Anything notable?
- How is your family/significant other? Anything notable?
- How is work going? Anything notable?
Personal:
- What are your hobbies? Anything notable?
- What’s your biggest passion or interest outside of work? Anything notable?
- Where are you from? Anything notable?
- How long have you lived at your current location and worked at your current job? Anything notable?
- Where did you go to school and what subjects and activities were you involved in? Anything notable?
- What do you do for work? Anything notable?
Notable:
- What are your five most unique experiences?
- What are your five most personally significant accomplishments?
- What are ten strengths?—things you are above average at, no matter how big or small.
- Name ten places you have traveled to in the past five years.
- Name the past five times you have gone out to a social event.
- Name ten things you cannot live without—don’t take this question too literally. It is asking about your interests, not household staples.
Staying Current:
- What are the top five current events of the week and month? Learn the basics and develop an opinion and stance on them.
- What are four funny personal situations from the past week? Be able to summarize them as a brief story.
- What are the four most interesting things you’ve read or heard about in the past week? Be able to summarize them as a brief story.
“If you’ve ever felt like your mind was going blank, this is the cure. There are so many pieces of information that you’ve just dug out of yourself that it should be nearly impossible to run out of things to say. Remember to review this résumé before you head into socially intense situations, and you will be able to keep up with just about anyone.
“You just may realize that while some people appear to be quicker than lightning, they may simply remember more about themselves at that moment.”