Breaking the Stage Fright Barrier: 10 Techniques

Have you ever experienced stage fright?

You know, the butterflies in the stomach, the shaky hands, sweaty palms, and maybe rapid breathing?

It’s not fun.

This performance anxiety is common in public speaking and other performance-related activities.

Many years ago, when my children were teenagers, I experienced performance anxiety when I wanted to encourage them in some activities by joining them in TaeKwonDo and learning the piano. I felt like I had two left feet in TaeKwonDo and two left hands when playing the piano. I was neither physically nor musically gifted, so I had some stage fright when it came time to perform. Still, working through those situations and in public speaking situations (for myself and those I coach) have taught me a few techniques to help break that stage fright barrier.

The 10 techniques can be divided into two categories, physical and mental.

Physical techniques:

• Practice and Rehearse
• Frequent Exposure, Increasing Difficulty
• Just Breathe
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation
• Confident Body Language

Mental techniques:

• Focus on Having Fun in the Present
• Focus on Others
• Visualization
• Positive Self-Talk
• Reframe Failure

In the video, and below, I discuss each technique.

1. Practice and Rehearse

This is the most obvious one, but how you practice matters. Remember, you’re looking for progress, not perfection. Perfection is unattainable. You want excellence or maybe sometimes good enough.

Then there is what you need to practice the most: the beginning, the end, and the most difficult parts. If you’re giving a speech, also practice the transitions and then do a dress rehearsal. Try to rehearse as much like the real thing as possible. Years ago, I helped a 16-year-old girl prepare for a TED talk, and the last thing we did was have her rehearse at a library in front of family and friends. That made a big difference to her confidence and performance.

2. Frequent Exposure, Increasing Difficulty

Yeah, this is the scary one, but I have found this particular technique to be the most important one for me and others because you need to face your fear. Action conquers fear. But you don’t have to do it all at once. You can take baby steps. With public speaking, I started in Toastmasters, a very supportive organization, and then gave some presentations in other groups I belonged to. Then I moved to outside groups. 

Take baby steps, but don’t stay there. Celebrate those baby steps, but continue to push yourself. Continue to make things a little more difficult.

3. Just Breathe

If you are flustered, sometimes focusing on a single breath can make a difference. Maybe you’re sitting at a meeting or standing, getting ready to speak. Inhale for four seconds, exhale for six seconds, and if you have more time, you might try combat breathing, also called box breathing. Combat breathing is a technique soldiers use in wartime to regain control of their thinking. You breathe in for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, breathe out for a count of four, and hold your breath for a count of four. If you have time, you can repeat it. Just breathe.

4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Now this is not something you will do in front of other people, so you would only do this if you had some privacy. You want to find a comfortable place, and then you want to tense and relax your muscles from head to toe. Start with your forehead or the top of your head, tense the muscles, and then relax. Go down to your eyes, your cheeks, your jaw, your neck, all the way to your toes. Remember to take deep breaths.

This technique is also helpful in relaxing enough to fall asleep if you’ve had a stressful day.

5. Confident Body Language

You’ve probably heard of power posing. That’s where you make an expansive pose, such as raising your arms in a  V for victory or holding the Superman pose for a couple of minutes. Research has shown that you will feel more powerful and confident when you do that.

You also want to stand tall during your presentation and before. Don’t look down at your phone before performing because that downward gaze will not increase your confidence. Then, before you perform, make eye contact with your audience and smile unless smiling is inappropriate. It will engage your audience and relax you as well.

6. Focus on Having Fun in the Present

Remember, you won’t die. You might feel like you’ll die, but you won’t.

Make it a game. Maybe not every part of the performance is fun, but focus on the fun parts and enjoy it like you would a game. Do not ruminate about the past or worry about the future. It will take you out of the present. It will affect your performance. Be present for your audience.

7. Focus on Others

The value of focusing on others was something I learned several years ago when I was in a Toastmasters speech competition. I had memorized my five to seven-minute speech and was killing it until . . . I wasn’t. I blanked out. A few seconds later, the words came back to me. I continued on, but I didn’t win. I didn’t even place. However, I learned two important lessons. The first was that memorizing a speech is not a good idea because you create a rut in your mind. Your mind has only one path to go on; if something throws you off that path, you have no alternate path. You’ve never practiced saying it a little bit differently. So don’t memorize. Instead, internalize. Internalize your speech by allowing yourself to practice it and say it in a few different ways.

The second lesson I learned was to give the audience a gift.

I worried that others would judge me. If I messed up, people would think badly of me. I realized that that thinking was selfish. I was focusing on myself. Instead, I needed to focus on my performance being a gift to the audience. Focus on giving a gift.

Sometimes you can focus on helping others do well. If you’re part of a team or others are also performing, encourage them. When I was testing for my black belt and karate, a 10-year-old girl was testing too, and she was so nervous, so I focused on helping her feel confident, feel excited, and feel that she could do it. We both did well, and I had way less worry for myself.

Remember, it’s usually not all about you. People aren’t going to focus that much on your performance. Typically, they will get busy with their lives and forget about any performance errors you had.

8. Visualization

Close your eyes in a quiet place and then visualize how you look, move, and sound in a successful performance. Also, visualize a responsive audience engaged with your performance. If your mind can think it, you can achieve it.

9. Positive Self-Talk

Are you saying negative things or thinking negative things such as, “I’m not very good at public speaking. I say too many ums. I might forget my speech . . .”?

Identify that negative self-talk and eliminate it. Replace it with positive affirmations, statements affirming what you want to be.

I sometimes will combine positive affirmations with visualization and confident body language. Right before I speak, I will hop into a restroom. I will do the Wonder Woman pose. Then I will visualize a successful performance, with the audience being receptive. In my mind (I’ll do it out loud if no one’s around). I will say, “I am smart. I am powerful. I can make a difference.” I’ll repeat this for a minute or two, and when I’m done, I’ll burst out of that stall like Superman with a new confident attitude.

instead of telling yourself, “Relax,” you can tell yourself, “I’m excited!” Turn that nervous energy into excitement.

10. Reframe Failure

Don’t let failure go to waste. If you fail and don’t learn something from it, you have let the failure go to waste. Reframe failure as learning. Dig deep for those nuggets of wisdom that you can apply next time. Think of failure not as a stumbling block but as a stepping stone to your growth. The real loser isn’t the one who fails; it’s the one who fails to try.

Try, learn, achieve, and break your stage fright barrier.

Which techniques are most helpful to you? One of the ones I’ve mentioned, or something else?