Sometimes you need to stand your ground in a disagreement. You’ve listened reflectively, tried “Help me understand . . .” (see THIS blog post). But, there is a line in the sand you don’t want to cross. Below are some phrases to use.
Use a respectful and measured tone of voice when using the following phrases. Some of these phrases include softer language that may indicate doubt in your position, such as “I think,” “I don’t think.” or “I’m not sure.” Eliminate those weak phrases if you want to sound more confident/assertive, but if you speak to someone with more power, you may want to use them to soften your approach.
How to say you disagree, without appeasing or excessively validating
1. “I see things differently.”
2. “I disagree with your perspective on this issue.”
3. “I understand where you’re coming from, but I have a different opinion.”
4. “I understand where you’re coming from, but I have a different perspective.”
5. “I appreciate your input, but I have to respectfully disagree.”
6. “I appreciate your input, but I don’t think that’s the best approach.”
7. “I can see why you might think that, but I disagree.”
8. “I disagree with you on this point and here’s why.”
9. “I’m not sure I agree with that.”
10. “I don’t agree with that.”
How to say you disagree, and say the conversation should be resumed later
1. “This caught me off guard. I would like to take time to think how to respond, as it’s very different from how I was thinking”
2. “I think we need to take a step back and reassess the situation.”
3. “It seems like we have different ideas about how to proceed. Maybe we should take a break and come back to this later.”
4. “I don’t think we’re going to come to an agreement on this today. Perhaps we should take a break and resume the conversation at a later time.”
5. “I don’t think we’re going to be able to resolve this today, let’s revisit it at a later time.”
6. “I think we need more information before we can make a decision.”
7. “I think we need to explore this issue more deeply before we can make any decisions.”
How you say you disagree even more strongly, and that it’s not clear how / if to move forward.
1. “This is not acceptable to me”
2. “It’s not clear to me how we can move forward with this disagreement.”
3. “I’m open to hearing more about your perspective, but I still don’t think I can agree with you.”
4. “I appreciate your perspective, but I’m not sure how we can move forward given our differences.”
5. “I think we need to agree to disagree on this one.”
6. “I think we’re both looking at this issue from different angles and we may need to agree to disagree.”
The goal is to express disagreement without escalating the conflict or irreversibly damaging the relationship. Avoid using inflammatory, judgmental words, such as “stupid,” “foolish,” “short-sighted,” or “greedy.” And don’t resort to personal attacks. Focus on the issue.